Host Another Family
Every single one of us has a deep desire to connect with and be known by others. Sadly, with full schedules and so may commitments, we allow ourselves to push relationships aside in our seasons of busy and full schedules, often times our relationships get pushed to the side and our only sense of community comes from a Sunday morning or the people we happen to do life with. One of the simplest ways to invest in and connect with others is through your home. Read below to learn how to easily make your home a space where relationships are built and people feel welcome.
Big Ideas
Why relationships are worth working for?
How to make your home a place for others?
Tell me if this conversation sounds familiar:
Me: “Hey (Insert Person’s Name)! It is so good to see you! How have you been?”
Them: “Busy! But doing great! How are you?”
Me: “I’m doing really good! It was so good seeing you! WE SHOULD HANG OUT SOON!”
Them: “Absolutely! Just message me!”
Let’s make some key observations from this conversation. First this is a real conversation that I have had with one of my really good friends. Second, this type of conversation happens when we run into each other in our community. It’s quick, and short. Why? Because we are both in a hurry. Third, we leave the conversation with the commitment to get together and continue the conversation.
The reality is WE NEVER CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION. We never message, we never commit to spending time together, and when we see them again, we have the same conversation. Instead, we continue to fill up our schedule with more commitments, obligations, and time for ourselves. Not that these are inherently bad, but our design and command is to care and love others.
Notice that I have been using the word “we” because this has been a great struggle for me and my family as well. For many years we have desired to have relationships and to connect, but felt lost in the day to day of our lives and schedules.
Our fault is when we lose our commitment to being relational and to loving and caring for others, we are going out of step with our design and the command Christ has given us.
Above all things we are to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind” (Matt. 22: 36); this commitment to loving God above all things is the first and most important relationship in our lives. Second, this is the call to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt. 22: 39). Oftentimes we think of this second great commandment as the call to serve and help those who have a need. We think of the lost, the poor, the marginalized, or the broken as the neighbor who is in need and who we should love. Further, our love is often conveyed in our actions and how we help meet that need. Again, there is nothing wrong with obediently loving others through our service, but beyond the physical needs that are so easily identified, is the desire by all to be known, cared for, and understood.
This includes my wife. This includes my kids. This includes the friend that I run into in the grocery store. This includes the person you meet on the street. Our greatest way to show our love for God is to know and understand Him. Our love for our neighbor can and should be seen by the intentional pursuit to know them.
Even though there are many ways that you can connect and build relationships with others, I want to make the case that your home can be one of your greatest tools to taking the next step in getting to know and loving others.
I know what you are thinking, I DON’T WANT PEOPLE TO SEE MY HOME! You may be thinking it’s my private place or it’s too messy or it’s not good enough. The key to any relationship is to be true to yourself and how God created you. Our homes are representations of who we are and the life we live.
Read below for five ways that are working for me to begin being more intentional in building relationships:
1 - Invite
This is so simple, but yet the first hurdle we must overcome. This is where we follow through with our promise to continue to the conversation and to actually hang out. To make the invitation we plan out our week and open up our schedule for a time to get together. This may mean sacrificing something in your schedule. But finding margin will allow this to become a rhythm in your life and schedule.
One more thing to note. People will say no. Or people will commit and then back out. Do not be discouraged but continue to be intentional in seeking out the relationship.
2 - Prepare your home.
As I mentioned previously, you must always stay true to yourself. And staying true to yourself may mean that your home is not the cleanest or the most organized. However, be mindful and thoughtful of others and allow your home to be inviting and comfortable for those you are having over.
3 - Be Mary, Not Martha. A.K.A Keep it Simple.
One of our greatest temptations, when we have others over, is to constantly be doing and preparing. This could be cooking, cleaning, straightening up, being connected to your phone, or serving in any other capacity. This is where our preparation comes into play. Your guests don’t expect a four-course meal, or to be wined and dined as if they are at a restaurant. It is hard to connect when we are not freeing ourselves to be engaged with those in our home. Simplicity is key! Just have coffee, or just have desserts. If you do cook, find a simple recipe or get take-out. Don’t let your time together get filled with tasks and distractions.
4 - Have Fun!
One of mine and my wife’s favorite thing to do with our friends when they come over is play board games or yard games. Games allow us to have fun and still connect. They don’t limit our conversations but instead give us opportunities to get to know them better. Other times we have had friends over for a campfire, to swim, to let our kids play together, or cookouts. Whatever it is, continue to keep it simple, keep connecting.
5 - Listen
One of the most important lessons I have learned in building relationships is to listen. I have the tendency to fill the room with my continuous rambling or selfish topics and stories. Be intentional with your conversations that seek to better know the person and family. What you will discover through listening is their story. You get to know their values, their hobbies, their struggles, and their pains. Listening is the key to being able to show love to someone fully and completely.
Your home has the power to open the door to deep and meaningful relationships. I hope and pray that using these five tips, you can begin to discover the value of relationships, the power of a home, and the simple power of an invitation. Don’t let the conversation end with an empty reply, but with one that follows through to intentionally know, love and care for others.