Empty Nesting Family
As parents, we spend so much of our time and attention focused on our kids. We want to devote ourselves to raising well-rounded children and that, oftentimes, consumes us. What happens when the kids are grown and you find yourselves in a quiet, empty house? Welcome to “empty nesting!!”
Big Ideas
How do you adjust to the slower pace of life? Or is it slower?
How can we focus on us, as husband and wife?
How do you continue to parent even when the kids are out of the house?
For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
Isaiah 43:19 (NLT)
Here’s the scenario... you work, your spouse works, some days you only see each other in passing. You have kids in various activities. You begin your week trying to figure out their schedules, who has to be where and when. You decide with your spouse who is going with which child to which activity. This is your life for 14 plus years. You blink, and one day, it all ends. Kids have graduated high school and moved off to college. You come home after work to an empty, quiet house. What now?
The pace of life is much slower. Or is it? I have found that once the kids are out of the house, we are busier than ever. Those activities look much different. We are no longer running to ball games or activities, but we have found new things to do. We’ve cooked dinner together each night and even cleaned it up together. We have started AND COMPLETED many house projects together. We have even binge-watched a few shows together on Netflix!! We have found many ways to fill our time doing new things without the kids. So in reality, we are just as busy, it just looks a little different.
One of the most amazing things I have found to come out of having so much time together, is that we actually get to focus on each other. Strengthen your marriage. Take the time to have conversations with each other. Go on a “first date”. Find a new hobby to do together. Really get to know each other on a different level than ever before. Over the years of raising kids, you tend to lose that focus. Yes, you still have date nights and whatever, but even on those date nights, you end up talking about the kids and their activities. This is the part where I tell married couples to make it a priority to have that time, even while the kids are still home, to connect with your spouse. I have seen so many marriages fail after the kids are gone simply because they didn’t take that time. Invest in each other while raising a family so that when the kids are gone, you can truly strengthen and grow as husband and wife.
Rest assured, even when the kids are grown and out of the house, parenting NEVER stops! They still need you. They still call multiple times a day. They still want your advice and guidance. Again, this looks different than parenting with them still at home, but you still have influence, and you still parent. Just as you influenced them as they were growing up, by showing them what marriage was supposed to look like, you now continue to still show them that. You are instilling the priority of marriage in their lives so they have something to model when they get married and begin a family. There are so many important lessons to be taught about marriage and family, including empty-nesting so that your kids know the value of every step.
So I leave you with these ideas:
Recreate your first date as best you can
Cook a new dinner dish together (and clean it up together!!)
Find a new hobby - something neither one of you have done before
Learn (if you don’t already know) each other’s love language and find a new way to “speak” it
Go on a vacation together alone - WOOHOO