How Do You "Date?"

The fact is that dating is not bad, however it can be dangerous. There’s a difference between something being bad and something being dangerous. The Gospel is dangerous, but it most certainly isn't bad. It has the power to change you, to lead you, to create something in you. This quality is the same that makes dating relationships dangerous, and makes them what could be your greatest ally or your worst enemy. 

I’m not an expert on dating relationships or marriage by any means but I do happen to know the one who created them and believe that Scripture is full of principles and advice. Believe it or not, Jesus’ desire is for you to have an abundant life, a better life (John 10:10), and this means in your dating relationships as well.

God intentionally and purposely created relationships for us. In just the second chapter of the Bible we find that God creates relationships for man. Genesis 2:18 (NLT) says, “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.’”

We need relationships. God says it is a good thing for us to come together in relationships, and yes, at times, this means dating too. As followers of Jesus we should be aware that Jesus is ok with dating and we don’t have to feel weird or shame about the desire to be with someone.

So what do you do with that desire; how do you actually date?

Relationships are not about you. We are all capable of being selfish. Relationships quickly become all about me, what makes me happy, what I like, and what I would do or say. The problem with this is that if you look at Jesus’ life and ministry, He seems to be very focused on others instead of Himself and even more so on God and His Kingdom. In Matthew 6:33 (NLT) Jesus says to “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” Jesus is saying that if you want to have a fulfilled life, a better life, or even dating relationship, the focus must be the Kingdom; it must be Jesus!

For the guys out there, this means you’re more concerned about your girlfriend or wife growing in her relationship with God than growing in her relationship with you, and ladies this means you’re more concerned about your boyfriend or husband growing in his relationship with God than growing in his relationship with you. Your goal is to be the type of person that encourages your significant other to grow in their relationship with Jesus and to help them fall more in love with Jesus everyday, to literally show them Jesus with the words you speak, the thoughts you think, and every aspect of your life.


When I leave this earth, will my significant other love me or Jesus more?

When I leave this earth, will my significant other love me or Jesus more? His love is perfect, never ending, and never failing. He is always patient, kind, and true. That kind of love, is only found in Jesus and that’s the love we should want our significant other to come to know each and every day.

Trevor Stone