Am I Worthy?

 
 

Your identity—how you see yourself—is often shaped by the things you experience early in life.

Maybe you had an amazing childhood and always saw yourself in a healthy way. Or maybe you struggled, made wrong choices, and spent time around people that said and did things that made you doubt your self worth. If you’re in the second group, I can relate!

As a small child, I struggled with crippling anxiety. Because of this, I began looking for security in all the wrong places. By age 11, I was looking to food for comfort and eventually pornography at age 13. My actions and fears made me feel unworthy in my friendships and any environment I stepped into. Because of my offset identity, I became depressed by the age of 15. Like so many others, I was desperate for relief. At the time, I didn’t really know Jesus, but I wanted to believe that God was real and that he loved me.

After a yearlong strip of therapy sessions, missing school, and feeling lost, my mom decided to take me to counseling here at Better Life Church. As I sat across from my pastor, I explained to him the three words that had shaped who I was for so long—“not good enough.” I believed the lie that Jesus wouldn’t love me until I was doing all the right things. How could Jesus approve of me if I didn’t even approve of myself?

I believed the lie that Jesus wouldn’t love me until I was doing all the right things. How could Jesus approve of me if I didn’t even approve of myself?



At the end of the counseling session, Pastor Daniel asked to pray with me. As we were praying, I heard the voice of God for the first time in my life. It was like someone walked into my life and turned all the lights on. What I had been in desperate need of was to know that God’s love for me was unconditional. When I understood this truth and believed it, it satisfied my soul! It was a breakthrough! My depression faded each day after, and my emotional healing began. I’m not going to lie, it has been a process, but today I am free from the chains that once held me in bondage—free from addiction, free from fear, free from a life of identity crises. Whenever I doubt who I am, I go back to that moment and remember this small but simple truth: “Jesus loves me, this I know”. Jesus loves you, even when you sin. Jesus loves you, even after you yelled at your kids. Jesus loves you, even if you don’t lose the weight. Jesus loves you, even if you failed the class. You are worthy because he already took the punishment for all of it. You are worthy, because of Him.

You are worthy because he already took the punishment for all of it. You are worthy, because of Him.



“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” - 2 Corinthians 5:17


- Olivia Hacker